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What's the difference
between a police car and a porcupine? YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction. You think subdivision is part of a math problem. You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups. You think genitalia is an Italian airline. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. You buy your jewelry at the hardware store. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. Confucious say... ...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts ...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed ...he who smoke pot, choke on handle ...woman who wear g-string, high on crack! ...he who stand on toilet, high on pot! ..boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand! |
